Get a REAL Life!

In the best and worst of times - get a REAL life!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
English novelist (1812 - 1870)

Why? Times are hard, but then, they have always been, but in different ways. Often we tend to idealize times gone by, but would not wish to go back to living without running water and electricity. Modern medicine has taken huge leaps, and so has communication. 

 

From sending messages with pigeons, to letters that took days, weeks or even months to arrive, we have come to phone calls, text messages and emails. Gone is the excitement when finding a letter from a friend or family member in your letter box. Nowadays you find an email when you’re sifting through dozens newsletters in your inbox or messages on facebook, comments on your wall and tweets. You can hear from everyone more often and more quickly, thanks to social media you know what people are up to even if you haven’t seen or spoken to them in ages.

Does all that easy instant access to communication improve our lives? In many ways, yes it does, of course, though unfortunately, a lot of personal messages seem rather impersonal, usually only a couple of lines long and not very in depth. When writing a letter, you used to take time to think of something to write, to make it worth the effort of buying a stamp and going to the letter box, maybe you’d add some decorations as a personal touch and often, the letter ended up being five pages. When sending an email, I personallly often worry if it’s rude making it longer than two or three paragraphs. Writing nowadays is limited to postcards from holidays, Xmas- and birthday cards. I know some people who still write letters, but they clearly are the minority.

I am not writing this because I suffer from nostalgia, but while the world is moving closer and communication is speeding up, we also seem to be more isolated.

Where before you used to go out to see a film or a concert, connect with people or talk to someone on the phone, nowadays it’s our computer or Smartphone that does everything for us. Instead of seeing someone face to face, we write on their wall or comment their photo. You can download films and music or watch clips on YouTube. 

 

Yes, it’s all quick, cheap and convenient. But it’s also a bit lonely. You get isolated. A lot of us only go out to work or do some shopping, and even that you can do from home. My last job interview I did via Skype. And while it is great to have five hundred friends on facebook from all over the world, how many of them can you call in the middle of the night? Or call at all? From most of my fb friends I have neither their addresses nor phone numbers. 

 

Luckily, some social sites are designed to get people out of the house and connect in real live, like meetup, urbeeze and so on, but going out buddies are not necessarily friends in need.

I love my social sites, but sometimes it’s scary how dependant we are becoming of the internet and phone services. When Blackberry had their technical problems recently, people were swearing and tearing out their hair just because they could not send instant messages and access the internet via their phone! We haven’t had that all that long… 

 

I’m at the moment living somewhere without an internet connection, and it is strange. You suddenly find you have so much time on your hands, especially if like me you don’t or rarely watch TV. It’s a good time to read that book you’ve been meaning to do for ages but never gotten around to! Or go to sleep decent hours as you won’t be tempted to check on updates of friends’ that live in different time zones.

While our world has moved closer, there seems to be a loss of community at the same time. How many of you neighbors do you actually know personally? Are your friends local or hundreds or thousands of miles away? 

 

I have worked and lived in several different countries, and my friends are all over the place. While it is easy to keep in touch thanks to technology, I constantly have to establish myself somewhere new, make new connections. It’s what’s making life rich and juicy - interacting with people, talking, exchanging ideas, watching films and concerts together, eat and drink and be merry together. 

 

So with everyone locked in front of their computer, how do you go about it? Those social sites mentioned above are a great start, but what really helped me was dong voluntary work. It gets you out of the house, you do something good and you get to connect with people face to face. Even if you and your co-volunteers don’t seem to have much in common, more likely than not they are going to be people who would help you if in need. Remember, the Law of Attraction states that you get what you give; reap what you sow; you have to give first to receive and so on. 

 

I do voluntary work in a fair trade shop; most of the other volunteers are retired ladies. When I had financial problems, they told me where I could find help. When I needed a guarantor for a business loan several offered to help me. When I was not sure about how long to keep my apartment because I’m waiting to hire on a cruise ship, someone offered to put me and my stuff up, so I would not have to pay rent longer than necessary. (That’s why I’m without regular internet, as the little old lady I’m staying with is not interested in it).

So when I hear about people who due to the financial crises are forced to live in their cars, I ask myself: do they not know anyone who could help them? I don’t mean paying off their debts, but maybe have a room to put them up, or advice where they could get help.

In the past I have often been in situations that could have turned out very differently had it not been for other people helping me. And it goes both ways, of course! 

 

When on my second day living in Avignon I was asked if I would not like to do some voluntary work, I did not plan on needing anyone’s help, neither did I anticipate the challenges that were to come my way. But just investing a few hours of my time has proved priceless. It’s all about giving and receiving, helping other people who might help you in return.

But it’s not only about helping and being helped, even just the fact of interacting with face to face raises your vibrations. You exchange ideas, energies, smiles and connect on a level not possible to that extend on a virtual level.

So often we hear about God or the Universe being on our side and helping us, and it’s true and really amazing to see how it plays out. But more often than not that help will come from a real rather than a virtual community.

So, go out, connect to people in flesh!